Failed Critics Podcast: The Crimson Halloween Beasts

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All of you that have never listened before and have seen your family die [from laughing], huh, you now have something that stands for you! That would be the Failed Critics Podcast: Halloween special.

OK, so it is a couple of weeks early, but think of all that extra time we’ve given you to source the incredible horror movies from a whole host of different decades that we discuss during our spooktacular (urrgghhhh sorry) triple bill. With picks by hosts Steve Norman and Owen Hughes, and guests Carole Petts and Phil Sharman, there’s plenty for you sink your fangs into (aahhhhhh sorry sorry sorry).

Before all that, we begin as we always do – with a quiz! Steve is in control of the questions and still 2-1 up after last week’s disaster (get it?) leaving Owen teetering on the edge of being handed a potentially diabolical booby prize should he be unable to prevent a joint Carole and Phil triumph. Perhaps regardless of whatever film might await either Owen or Steve, nothing could truly be more distressing than the news that a Die Hard prequel has gone into production. Still, at least there’s the London Film Festival round-up and Godzilla vs King Kong news to discuss, eh?

We even found time to sneak in a couple of new releases alongside our main triple bill feature. With reviews of Guilermo Del Toro’s latest visual gothic tale in Crimson Peak, and the very first Netflix original movie, Beasts of No Nation, starring Idris Elba, there was plenty to talk about in this week’s episode.

Join us again next week for DE NE- NEEERRRR, DE NE- NERRRR, DE, DE NER NER NERRRR… 007 is back for his longest outing yet with the release of SPECTRE.

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Failed Critics Podcast: The Scottish Podcast

Failed Critics Podcast: The Scottish Podcast

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Is this a dagger I see before me? No, it’s just this week’s triple bill edition of the Failed Critics podcast!

Acclaimed Glaswegian author Escobar Walker debuts alongside noted-neds and podcast regulars Steve Norman, Owen Hughes and Paul Field, to review the Scottish play-turned-movie Macbeth and to each pick their three favourite films from north of the border.

We kick things off as we always do with a quiz,one that is – yes, you guessed it – Scottish themed. Before that though, we have a short pre-credits intro that should give you an insight into just how depraved and filthy the combined minds of Paul and Esco can get. You have been warned.

With no other new releases to review this week, and no ‘what we’ve been watching’ section, we devote more time to our review of Macbeth than Paul spent awake during his entire short cinema trip to watch director Justin Kurzel’s big-screen Shakespearean adaptation.

To wrap things up the team share their three favourite Scottish movies. Alas, this might be a spoiler and maybe even come as a shock or disappointment to a few of you, but nobody picks Highlander, Braveheart or The Wicker Man. I can only apologise, but we do find some other real classics to talk about instead.

You can join Steve and Owen again next week where we’ll have more guests, presumably less profanity, and reviews of Suffragette and The Walk.

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Failed Critics Podcast: One MILLION Dollars! Triple Bill

Failed Critics Podcast: One MILLION Dollars! Triple Bill

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Welcome to another episode of the Failed Critics Podcast. As promised, Steve Norman is back in the host’s chair this week as the award winning duo of Jack and Phil from Wikishuffle depart to be replaced by Matt Lambourne from the award winning video-game podcast Retro Asylum, such is the quality of guest on our shows these days!

As ever, they are both joined by Owen Hughes for this week’s triple bill episode, where each member of the team pick three films made for one million dollars or less in a bid to prove that the quality of a movie is not always dependent on its budget.

Before all of that, the guys also take a look at the Primetime Emmy Award winners announced this past weekend and indulge themselves with the final round of our ongoing quiz – which, for once, isn’t as shambolic as you might expect! There’s also time for:  Steve to tackle Everest, starring Jason Clarke, Jake Gyllenhaal and Josh Brolin amongst others;  Matt blows the dust out of his Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie cartridge;  and Owen joins him in continuing the video-game adaptation conversation by listing everything wrong with Mortal Kombat: Annihilation.

Join us again next week for reviews of Sicario, The Intern, and The Martian.

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Failed Critics Podcast: A Place Of Learning

Failed Critics Podcast: A Place Of Learning

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Steve Norman? Here. Owen Hughes? Here. Callum Petch? Here.

Now that the register has been taken, the latest Failed Critics Podcast may commence. Please take your seats, spit your chewing gum in the bin and we’ll start this week’s quiz and hear Owen’s reaction to Steve’s choice of film for winning last week with the sports documentary Next Goal Wins. We also have a triple bill where the team each pick three films set in a place of learning – and that’s all the criteria they were given! It really is as broad as that. Good? Bad? Overrated? Underrated? Obscure? Well known? You’ll have to listen to find out what they pick.

We also have reviews of new releases Trainwreck (reviewed by Brooker on the website), The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (er, also reviewed by Brooker) and Pixels. I say “review” of Pixels, but it was more like an uncontrollable rant by Callum.

Join us next week for the next entry to our Corridor of Praise, the inevitable induction of Danny Dyer! Where we’ll be joined by Paul Field and one or two special guests… Class dismissed.

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Failed Critics Podcast: Child Performances Triple Bill

Failed Critics Podcast: Child Performances Triple Bill

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They’re heeeerrrrreeeee….

And by ‘they’, we of course mean ‘we’. We’re here to host another triple bill edition of the Failed Critics Podcast!

This week, Mike Shawcross and Matt Lambourne step into the fold along with regulars Steve Norman and Owen Hughes as they each pick their three favourite child performances in film. From sweary little girls, to doom-bringing seven year old boys, we’ve covered all of the best young performances that we could fit into 100 minutes of podcast.

Amongst that, we did still manage to squeeze in a quick round up of who-won-what at the Cannes Film Festival, which closed this week. In keeping with the Cannes theme, Mike even watched a film called The Beaver that was first screened at the festival a few years back, starring Mel Gibson. And, as if we’d planned it (we didn’t), Matt also watched a Mel Gibson movie as he looks back on the original 1979 Australian rampage film Mad Max. Meanwhile, Owen recounts his experience this past weekend at a Q&A with Al Pacino, whilst Steve quickly runs through 2012’s Avengers Assemble and the latest season of Game of Thrones.

Join us again next week as we look at Pacino’s latest project Danny Collins, as well as the Rock’s new disaster movie San Andreas.

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P.S. If you can’t wait a whole week to hear Steve & Owen’s voices again …… check out the second ever Quizcast, this time hosted by Tony Black of Black Hole Cinema (or listen to the original Quizcast here).

Failed Critics Podcast: Spooks, Britishness & Bad Impressions

Failed Critics Podcast: Spooks, Britishness & Bad Impressions

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Welcome to another edition of the Failed Critics Podcast where hosts Steve Norman and Owen Hughes are joined by special guest Matt Lambourne.

In this episode, the team take a look at the big screen continuation of the long running and oft heralded BBC TV series with Spooks: The Greater Good. In honour of this very British espionage thriller, we have a triple bill where our trio each pick the three films they think sums up Britishness in movies best. Don’t worry, there’s no flag waving or national anthem renditions here. Just a veritable plethora of poor attempts at cross-country accents, from Danny Dyer to non-specific American.

We also introduce a brand new potentially semi-regular section to the podcast where we finally answer the burning questions you’ve been sending in to us, such as “who would win in a fight, an astronaut or a caveman?”, “why does Owen watch 847 films a week?”, “why don’t we let that handsome chap Callum Petch on the podcast more often?” and more! Yes, more! If you’d like to ask the Failed Critics any questions, simply tweet, facebook, comment on this article or email them to us and we’ll make room for them on a future podcast.

Join us again next week as we actually get to review some films for a change with the hotly anticipated release of Mad Max: Fury Road.

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Failed Critics Podcast: Episode 150 And As Shambolic As Ever

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Hello and welcome to the 150th episode of the Failed Critics podcast! It seems almost unbelievable that we’ve made it this far, but somehow we have. Both Steve and Owen would like to extend their thanks to each of you who have ever downloaded our podcast and are eternally grateful for your support.

To celebrate reaching this milestone, we’ve got a new logo, a new theme tune and as a one off treat, we’ve got an extra long triple-triple bill podcast to share with you. And believe me when I say that it’s an extra long episode. Almost five hours long, to be precise.

We kick off the podcast with this fantastic new opening theme tune! It should sound familiar as the exceptionally talented James Yuill (whose albums you should go out and buy right now!) has remixed our old theme – and we’re so excited to share it with you!

We then head into a bumper edition of the quiz that’s as traditionally shambolic as ever, swiftly followed by our Secret Bad Santa section. Which films have Steve, Owen, Paul, Brooker and Matt anonymously sent each other to watch? All will be revealed…

To top it off, we have three triple bills. The first triple bill sees each of the team pick their three favourite films. The second triple bill is based on suggestions we received from you, the listeners! And our final triple bill which we just about managed to stay awake and sober (enough) for sees the team introduce us to their “wild card” triple bill; three films that fit into any personally chosen theme.

We will be back next week with a regular podcast and back down to our normal run time of approximately 60-90 minutes. Until then, this five hour podcast should keep you going… Until then, thanks for listening and hopefully we’ll see you in another 150 podcasts time.

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